She cries a lot. That means that she just is letting us know something is up. Either she is cramping or hungry or just calling out for her mommy. She has been crying a lot though. She doesn't give untill it's fixed. There was no way of soothing her, for weeks and weeks. She has reflux. We have some great medecine now. Something homeopahtic, and safe. It works great. She still needs lots of holding though. But we understand. She was safe and warm and connected to me for 37 weeks. You can't just leave her on her own immediately ater she is born. She needs physical contact, which is also super healthy for her. And we want to give her only the best. And yes, that takes a lot of work and time. But we didn't decide to go for a baby to then not give her all of us.
Being a mom is truly the hardest job on the planet, if you do it right.
It is hard sometimes. It takes complete devotion to give your baby the best. How do mothers of more then one kid do it??? Blissie takes up all of my time, and I'm not kidding. How am I gonna do this a second time, with a second baby. How do you devide your time between your kids?
I am greatful for the internet. While I am holding Blissie, I can still feel connected to the world with my laptop right next to me. I do dream of going out a lot and having a job. How easy would that be, to drop my baby of somewhere and say goodbye to her for 8 hours. But we have made the decision for me to be a stay at home mommy even before we got married. Actually I made that decision many years ago, so did Carl when he thought of his future family. Why, because your children just need that, it is as simple as that. It is the best thing for them and for the whole family.
And when you know better you do better.
Sure, we dream of more income. Actually we really need some more income. And we are looking for something extra to do for Carl. Carl is the kind of husband that would want to work two full time jobs to support his family. Although I am a bit against that. I would also like to have him home sometimes. That is also so important. I am not a single mother. I have a husband and my baby has a father. He needs to be around, and he wants to be around. Anyways, we are still looking around for something extra that will bring some more money in, and will still allow Carl to sleep at night.
I'm looking into some homeschooling at the moment. Because going outside the house for more then an hour or two in between feeds is not possible. I would love to start up my own business. Something I can do mainly from home. When Blissie is a couple months older I'm hoping to have a more independent girl. And her Reflux problems will get better with age, so I am hopefull. She will always come first in our lives and nothing will ever interfere with that. Because nothing and no one is more important then her wellbeing.
Having a baby is the greatest and biggest blessing in our lives. Which means to us that you also spend the greatest and most time with her and do the most research you have ever done in your life to give her the best in every aspect of her life. No excuses. You look for THE BEST ways in every aspect. What is THE BEST during your labour and the birth. What do drugs really do to your body and the baby. What does giving birth on your back really do. Why is that a typical hospital birth? Are there other ways, better ways? Can you give your baby and yourself something better? Why is it important to feel the pain you feel during childbirth? And believe me, the answers are out there.
And isn't that every parents wish? To give your baby the best of the best? Well, that takes work and that takes a willingness to look for it. And it is so out there now. You can find it right here on the internet. The video "The business of being born" which you can find on YouTube is still a great eye opener.
You know, you can have faith in God and say that you follow Him. But if you have faith in God, you should also have faith in His works, His creations, in all He did, does and will do. One of His biggest creations is the woman. He created you, your body is perfectly designed for having babies. He didn't make any mistakes there. Have faith in your ability to have babies and to give birth without interference from men.
I can tell from experience that your body knows and will tell you exactly what to do and what not to do during your labour and the birth. And I can also tell you that there is no greater accomplishment you'll ever make or that will make you feel better then to trust in your own body during childbirth.
During my labour, I was in a lot of pain for hours. But because I was in my own house, where it was calm and quiet, I had some kind of peace. And strangly enough, although it hurt so much, I felt that I was designed to handle that pain. It was a weird kind of pain also. An immensely intense pain that I can't compare to any other pain. It was amazing though to eventually feel her head descending and that was a different pain all together.
I also must say that the feelings of happiness are just as great and oh, they are amazing. They beat any good feeling I ever felt in my life. I feel so proud that I gave birth the way I did and there is just no better feeling then this in the world. We hope we can do it this way with every baby that comes to us. Though we're very greatful for the great hospital and doctor that was on standby incase we needed medical help. But everything went right, just as we expected.
Two minutes after the birth I just felt ready to do it all over again. We would love to have a second baby. I can hardly wait to get pregnant again. And to do it better that time around. Maybe that will happen soon, maybe it will happen in a few years. When the time is right.
In the mean time, we're doing our best to keep Blissie safe and happy. And I am working out a way to fit a little bit of me in there without putting Bliss aside. That's my personal biggest challenge right now.
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